Tag Archives: SARK

a lil each day

12 May

SARK said: The tiniest story in your life can deeply touch another. you cannot know the effect your story might have – show up and serve, allow the anger and the jealousy, celebrate the mysteries, feelings change, dance on the edge of new beginnings.

These are stories of me. Things i see, what i think of, do, dream, pray for, fears, things i read. I dont know if anyone will read any of it, let alone touch anyone but May it empty all the bad and keep the good, help me be a better person and bring me closer to the Lord. Dancing on the edge of new beginnings sounds wonderful :)

I have been listening to the Bible being read out-loud. Sometimes reading, sometimes asking questions, mainly listening. It is amazing the stories, the language, the people in it, the archaeological findings that coincide with them and the mercy, majesty, humor, ever-presentness and love of God. I think my favourite so far is the book of Samuel. I really like how David is kinda child-like and his giving himself to the Lord is so very beautiful. There are no running arounds in the mind or heart, just straight surrender, then questions and answers are given. I so wish I could be like that but im still running around inside. Sometimes it seems like im standing with arms up like that day in the field, while listening to the song, i surrender and just feel, yet mostly i ask too much and like many of my everyday conversations and questions: ‘i’d like spaghetti…no wait pizza is nice too.’ sometimes i feel like smacking myself while i talk/pray to the lord. I ask quietly inside, talking to the lord inside myself. sometimes i wonder if thats even ok or if it’ll be better if i pray out loud….which sometimes i do. always, i ask for patience and forgiveness…and to walk in the light. Sometimes i want to immerse myself in the studies, sometimes i yearn for the regular stuff at intervals: movies, ‘regular’ music, going out. I know whats better for me, its just i feel tired sometimes, especially with emphasis that im suppose to feel something when the Lord blesses me with his spirit. its depressing at first that there isnt anything and i was getting tired inside, for yet again, silence. then i realise He is showing me the slow immersion and i need to change many, many things inside so i try to let go of a little every day.

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