Tag Archives: ex-muslim

a reminder from a blog – how to BE a true follower of Jesus

24 May

For a few days now, a sense of indignation has been rising inside me. I have been trying to put it aside to no avail. We have been trying trying to get our landlord to give us a price on a piece of land we have been talking to him about, while asking around to get an idea of how much land around here is worth, we got to know that he hasn’t been very nice. We paid more than 500% more than what is usually paid to rent land for grazing and planting. Earlier this year, he told us he had to pull out of the agreement we had for another piece of land that we had already started work on AND the already-paid rented land because he had a ready buyer and we were taking too long to pay him…when we had an agreement that he would wait as we had already paid rent and will be renting again this year. The deal with the ¨new buyer¨fell through. When we started to look for a new place to live, as our finances we getting really low and we realized that he was charging way to high, he let us stay for free these 3 months, just get our own water and pay the electricity bill. We thought that it was out of the goodness of his heart but we soon realized that we not only have paid for rent all the way to August for land we could not do anything with, but negotiating for rent this year and doing some research, asking around woke us up. We were still willing to buy land, albeit at a smaller and different location and no farming ground, from him to help him out but he quoted many times higher because of ´the view´ although there was no electricity, water nor proper roads up to it. It does have a really pretty view and he did say he would take a small payment and wait for the rest when we sold our stuff but things seem to be spiraling out-of-control. What would happen if we paid the deposit and started work and he changed his mind when a buyer comes along? I prefer not to deal with him but my fiancee is a very patient man. Today, I got almost angry when my fiancee told me he had said that we wont find any other place with a good price like he is offering; also, we had been scouting around other towns for land and the prices quoted are unbelievable. The reason for this? The Americans are willing to pay the prices they quote. One was charging 140,000 for a hectare and then came down to the truck price in only a few minutes as he really liked it and another wanted 80,000 for less than half a hectare (there were Americans living nearby) and another by the highway, wanted half a million! And they say city people are money-hungry! *sigh…im letting it go as i write. We have been praying for the Lord to show us where He wants us to be..if He wants us to stay here and continue our work here or be somewhere else. I am confident that the Lord will guide us.

When I got home, I was reading the Welcome page of Christian Blessings and this was there:

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay”, says the Lord. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  Romans 12:9-19,21.

The whole thing kinda soothed me and made me remember what I must do, how Im suppose to be but that last sentence really got me. I had told my fiancee I don’t want to deal with the landlord again because he is so arrogant in saying that we will not find a better deal anywhere else and that we´ll be back asking about the land again. I am the arrogant one. If we are suppose to be here and deal with him, so be it. Forgive me my Lord. Thank you for your reminder. Thank you for all the lessons and blessings. Protect us O Lord. Help me, guide me to be one of Your righteous ones Lord. Amen.

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fear vs hope

12 May

i was so afraid but its slowly abating. is it really fear? i was afraid of what would happen to my family if they knew i am a born again christian. a believer, with lots of love for Jesus, who wants to be even more in love, who wants to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to always walk in the light, in righteousness and grace that i am blessed with. a seeker of the Lord and His will. is it a fear of being ostracized? not really, its fear that i ll hurt them, which is weird. i think its remnants of the old me.

when you love Jesus and learn more and more about Him and His word, all fear will disappear.

i have hope and pray for them every day. and for the Holy Ghost to come into my life, into me. there has been many instances when i know the Lord is with me, watching, protecting me. blessing me. i learn every single day. it is amazing. i have felt noted differences as to how i feel about things and people, what i want and like, how i see things and people. i know now that He really is watching and listening, and He loves me, us. that is so very beautiful.

yesterday, i found blogs and comments from people in Singapore who are like me. it was amazing. i was so very happy. i AM so happy, encouraged.

Thank you Lord. Blessed be your name.